Eine Schwarzwaldfahrt

 A Walk in the Black Forest

I will admit that I didn't know that Horst Jankowski had died. Yes, shit happens. In fact, he struck his last chord on June 29th 1998, pegging out with lung cancer at the age of 62. A fact I missed, and now mourn, as the irritating ear-worm of A Walk in the Black Forest wriggles round my brain..... 

{And for those who don't know, Eine Schwarzwaldfahrt, became a hit in 1965, reaching Number 1 on the US easy-listening chart and Number 3 on the UK Singles Chart. It sold over one million copies, and was awarded a gold disc. [The track also became a signature song for Plymouth Argyle F.C.....  And why not?] }

So, here I sit, basking in the Black Forest sun, wondering whether my tattoos will ever fade.......

And wondering just why my paunch is so prominent.....

I tried other forms of transport, but they caged my car:

My train ran out of steam:

All the barouches were booked:

I couldn't catch this chestnut mare.....

And I missed the last tram:

So, Shank's P it were.... Having had my fill of city life in Stuttgart, I took refuge in Karl's Retreat (Karlsruhe originated in 1715 when Karl Wilhelm, Margrave of Baden-Durlach, built a castle near his hunting lodge).....

Though not without first genuflecting in the peace of Kloster Maulbronn (one of Europe’s most complete and best preserved Medieval monastery complexes) in whose Evangelical Protestant boarding School Herman Hesse, 1877–1962 (writer, painter and winner of the Nobel Prize for Literature, whose novels include Steppenwolf, Siddhartha and The Glass Bead Game) was once a pupil.....

 

Karlsruhe is the seat of KIT, the first Technical University in Germany (founded in 1825) and is also home to the Institute for Transuranium Elements (built as a collaborative effort with the European Atomic Energy Community, which aims to protect Europeans against the dangers posed by highly radioactive elements - Oh!  The Benefits of Brexit Sovereignty!)

Add to that the ZKM (Zentrum für Kunst und Medien). Founded in 1989, since 1997, ZKM has been housed in a former listed industrial building, the so-called Hallenbau A, which was one of the most architecturally advanced in Germany at the time it was built (1915-1918). It houses all media and genres, both spatial arts such as painting, photography and sculpture and time-based arts such as film, video, media art, music, dance, theatre and performance. It currently also is home to the highlights from the Kunsthalle Karlsruhe, which is closed for extensive renovation work.

But I digress..... A short distance from here I find myself in Baden Baden, once the summer capital of Europe during the Belle Époque, but still a pleasant place for a bath.....

Kein Trinkwasser in Baden Baden

If you don't object to divesting yourself of your worldly togs, that is!  A strikingly Aryan woman in the Tourist Information Office, swirls her blonde hair and smiles her glistening teeth, when I express some nervousness at the news that the historic (opened in 1877) Roman-Irish (?) Friedrichsbad is textile free..... We are all the same!  she laughs.  Speak for yourself, I think, as I slope off to the more demure Caracalla Spa Thermal bath where one can preserve one's differences under wraps....

Or so, in my innocence, I presume. Alack! I opt for a ticket which includes the Spa. Only to find that the seven indoor and outdoor saunas and steam bath are only accessible without bathing clothes (textile-free)!

All I can tell you, as a strictly scientific observation, is that circumcision is not particularly fashionable in the Black Forest, and that we are NOT all the same, Mrs Aryan Tourist Advisor Lady. (OK, there are some similarities - but enough of that.)

Anyway, I am here for forest bathing (with clothes on!)

And there are definitely some beauty spots (Stoppit!) Like the Triberger Wasserfälle:

Triberg also has a Greifvogel- und Eulenpark, which houses twenty-four birds of prey, several of which are brought out to admire the curious array of humans who stop to sit and stare:

Not far from here, the 11th century Abbey of Alpirsbach, nestling in a wooded valley, 

And surrounded by half-timbered dwellings,

Brews great beer (and, incidentally, has a fine church....)

Last stop on this Schwarzwaldfahrt is Freiburg im Breisgau, a busy university town high on the list of places that Grauniad readers like to think no-one else knows about.

And speaking of high, the Münster has a 116 metre high tower, climbing which is not for the faint- (or weak-) hearted....

One of Freiburg's claims to fame is that it was bombed by both the Luftwaffe (accidentally, in May 1940) and the RAF (not accidentally, in Operation Tigerfish (?) on 27th November 1944). After the war it was occupied by the French, who stayed on until 1991, possibly because the wine is particularly good round here.

By the way, Bruno Alfred Döblin was born here in 1878. His 1929 novel Berlin Alexanderplatz was rated (in 2002) as one of the top 100 novels of all time.....

Anyway, that notwithstanding, I say goodbye to the Black Forest with a feast of grilled sausage, sauerkraut and potatoes, swilled down with excellent beer at the Hausbrauerei Feierling.

And that, dear reader, is about all I remember of the Black Forest, except for this sign in the gents' toilet of the Marktküche Karlsruhe, after a few glasses of Grauburgunder, Q.b.A. trocken......

(Which sign, I regret to say, I initially misread, having been brung up proper.....)

In Memoriam 

Horst Jankowski

1936 - 1998

Bach to the Future

Three Beers for Bach!*

 

If I said this was all about Bach – I would be lying.  And if I said this was all about beer – I would also be lying.  And, in this day and age, who would want to be a liar?  I just cannot imagine why anyone would want to tell untruths.  Little, white, lies – maybe.  But wholly untruthful statements?  There just is no place for such in public life......

 

Anyway, I won’t lie to you.  I have just got back from Germany, and one of the reasons that I made this perilous journey, tunnelling 75 metres under La Manche (or, to give it is proper title, The European Channel) at nearly 300 kilometres per hour, was to celebrate the tercentenary of Johann Sebastian Bach’s move to Leipzig, a small town in (East) Germany.

 

I will also let you into a small truth.  I like beer.  (And wine, I might add, and other drinks, and food – but they are, perhaps, other stories.....)

 

And, in some ways, Beer and Bach go well together. For example, though precious little is known about Bach’s personal life (apart, perhaps, from the lives and deaths of his twenty children) it is recorded that when he moved to Weimar, in July 1708, he was to receive 150 florins in cash, eighteen bushels of grain (presumably for bread), twelve bushels of barley (presumably for beer), four cords of wood (to cook and make beer with as well as to keep warm) and thirty pails of beer (to be going on with.....). 

[Incidentally, to put this into some kind of historical perspective, this was the same year that the Jesuits were expelled from Holland and Charles XII invaded Ukraine....]

 

But I digress.  I have in my hand a piece of paper, a letter from Emily Potzger (Incoming) who represents the Leipzig Tourismus and Marketing GmbH.  Dear Mr Gibbs, she writes, It is a pleasure to welcome you to Leipzig – the city about which Gotthold Ephraim Lessing said: “I come to Leipzig, to a place where one can see the whole world in miniature.”  

[I should probably explain that Gotthold Ephraim Lessing, (born Jan. 22, 1729, Kamenz, Upper Lusatia, Saxony [Germany]—died Feb. 15, 1781, Braunschweig, Brunswick [Germany]), was a German dramatist, critic, and writer on philosophy and aesthetics.  Which, I guess, explains a lot.....]

 

Dear Mr Gibbs, she concludes, we wish you wonderful and eventful days in Leipzig.....

 

Who could resist such openness and charm?  

 

But (and, as you would expect, there is often a but) this was the focus of my visit, something that I had wished for for many years (probably since visiting Eisenach, Bach’s birthplace, and Weimar some years ago) but which had been rendered impractical by the pandemic (among other minor inconveniences.....). So it wasn’t just to Lovely Leipzig that I lurched.  No. First I yearned to have a look at Lorsch.

 

Aha!  (You cry.) Und was ist das? Well, I am surprised you are not better informed, as the World Heritage Site Lorsch Abbey is property of the Verwaltung der Staatlichen Schlösser un Gärten Hessen.  Founded in 764, built on an ice-age sand dune, and consecrated in 774 in the presence of King Charlemagne, this is a site worth a detour (though, as the trains from Bensheim weren’t running, a charabanc was needed for the second leg, even though the bus driver, a person not exactly born in Germany, did not speak German – nor English.... Ho hum.) And the Karolingerstadt (Carolingian Town – keep up) is pretty cute too, with its ancient, half-timbered houses and historic town hall, not to mention its Museum of Tobacco Production and the Culture of Smoking (tobacco used to be the main crop here).  It’s a far cry from North Norfolk, and a beer and a sausage salad in the market square rounded off a fine day out in the sun.

 

I was staying in Darmstadt, which can be explained by my unredacted WhatsApp messages, should this be necessary. Darmstadt holds the official title City of Science (German: Wissenschaftsstadt) which is about as meaningful as City of Culture.....  {Darmstadtium is a chemical element with the symbol Ds and atomic number 110. It is an extremely radioactive synthetic element. The most stable known isotope, darmstadtium-281, has a half-life of approximately 12.7 seconds. Darmstadtium was first created in 1994 by the GSI Helmholtz Centre for Heavy Ion Research in the city of Darmstadt, Germany, after which it was named.}  

You get my drift?  

 

Anyway, Darmstadt is also blessed with the Waldspirale (Forest Spiral) built in the late 1990s, a residential complex by Austrian Friedensreich Hundertwasser. As an almost surreal building, bearing a resemblance to the work of Antoni Gaudí, it is internationally famous for its almost absolute rejection of rectangular forms, down to every window having a different shape. (It also absolutely rejects the possibility of photographing it, but more of Hundertwasser later.....). 

So this is a photograph of something else.....

 

Not content with such fame, Darmstadt also hosts the UNESCO World Heritage Site Mathildenhöhe, with the Hochzeitsturm (Wedding tower) by Joseph Maria Olbrich, and a Russian Chapel built by Jugendstil architects who had settled in Darmstadt (German Art Nouveau is commonly known by its German name, Jugendstil. The name is taken from the artistic journal, Die Jugend, which was published in Munich and which espoused the new artistic movement.)

 

All this culture aside, the centre of Darmstadt, the Marktplatz, is home to the Darmstädter Ratskeller Hausbrauerei, a craft brewery located in the Old City Hall, which was built in 1598.  Here 0.4 litres of Ratsbräu Premium hell (nach Pilsner Art) will cost you €4,10, and to clothe such excess you could have a pair of fried sausages with bread for €8.90.....

 

Aaaacchhh.....

Sooo.....

And so to Fulda.

 

Which a man who says he has ridden from the German Sea (AKA The North Sea) on a Vespa claims is the Bees Knees – a phrase I think may be missing an R and a D?

 

But I will spare you the continuation, for the moment.  

Ernulf is Ernulf, and should you wish to follow my trail of confusion, then the next episode will thrill you with its mix of Baroque and Roll, and we shall approach the Bachanalian excitement of Leaping Leipzig...... 

*****

* In case you were wondering, this article is approximately 1,000 words, which is pretty much the same as what Alexander Boris de Pfeffel Johnson will spew out on a weekly basis for the Maily Dail for a piffling £1m p.a.

Chicken Feed! 

 

 

Prost und alles Gute

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